Check-in: Less than 4 weeks to go! Haven't kept track of word count this time but I've definitely hit my target. Send some force to the other participants here.
Since last check-in, I've started a short story and gone through Taunt. I'll admit I've been putting it off out of sheer terror. I knew the last third in particular was extremely sloppy - which is why it required a rewrite. I read through it this week, making notes and creating chapter summaries, figuring out what later info was missing from the first half and vice versa. I completely forgot a huge chunk of the story so it was like reading something someone else had written - always fun! It's been a lot less painful than I expected although the pacing is a bit off-balance. I went back to the rewrite, it's going well and should be finished before the next check-in. I'm aiming for it to be done and dusted tomorrow but now I've said that, I'm going to attract distractions.
I'm a little distracted this weekend anyway because the tallying of the votes are going on. Not over yet but nearly there. The Green Party have been wiped out. Fianna Fáil aren't doing much better than Sinn Féin - that must be killing them. The least popular government in our history is gone, leaving behind such a mess that I pity anyone taking over. Looks like Fine Gael will have to invite someone into bed with them. I keep remembering how, when I was growing up, everyone laughed at Enda Kenny and said he'd never make Taoiseach and yet here he is, on the brink. This government will likely be harsher on families so I better hurry up and write that bestseller already. ;)
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Check-In Time
Check-in: I've written 8k since the last check-in post. Have a goo at the rest of the ROW80ers here.
And while you're at it, check out the cover love my novella sucked up on All of Everything. I saw this and was happy, the end.
I've written 5k on one WIP - a short one that is now completed - and 3k on another. Yesterday, I realised I've been writing every day. Getting back into the habit of writing regularly was the biggest part of this for me so I'm very happy that I'm getting past my biggest obstacle - laziness. :D The words came really easy this week, it's like someone whispered the story in my ear, I wrote waaaay faster than usual. I don't expect it to keep up, especially because we might have a house guest this week. On the other hand, I haven't been spending as much time online - it's like I don't know what to do online all of a sudden. Not really a bad thing, I suppose.
On the home front, I'm the worst mother in the world this week - the baby had an ear infection and I didn't even realise until I saw gunk coming out of her ear. I thought she was teething, poor little bubba. Five kids before we get an ear infection and I don't even notice - I'm supposed to be the eagle eye worrywart around here.
My other lady went to the hospital to get her bandage changed and had her first physio session. Physio went really well, although it was only for her hands. The skin is a little tight but should be okay as long we do the exercises with her every day. They cancelled the appointment with the occupational therapist because her stomach hasn't had a chance to heal enough to scar and her hands are fine.
Her stomach - she was really upset getting her bandage changed and they were close to admitting her again but in the end they sent her home. It's healing away and we're back in next week for another bandage change but no more physio for a while. She was upset this morning because her big brother was off to school, I think she's bored without him because the twins are more of the rough and sweet sneaking but less of the fun big kid game playing. Going to have to break out the arts and crafts a bit more this week. Yeah, glitter. Woo. Hoo.
This week, my family is mourning the loss of our favourite act on Got to Dance. We love dancing shows, so what? :D I feel really bad for these lads because they were separate acts that got forced into being a duo because the judges couldn't choose between them - they have different styles, it must have been hard for them. *Gets attached to people she's seen on the telly for two minutes way too easily* Dude in the Red was amazingly shit-hot in his solo audition. Dude in the Blue was great too but DitR got more of an OMFG, how is he doing that kind of reaction.
And while you're at it, check out the cover love my novella sucked up on All of Everything. I saw this and was happy, the end.
I've written 5k on one WIP - a short one that is now completed - and 3k on another. Yesterday, I realised I've been writing every day. Getting back into the habit of writing regularly was the biggest part of this for me so I'm very happy that I'm getting past my biggest obstacle - laziness. :D The words came really easy this week, it's like someone whispered the story in my ear, I wrote waaaay faster than usual. I don't expect it to keep up, especially because we might have a house guest this week. On the other hand, I haven't been spending as much time online - it's like I don't know what to do online all of a sudden. Not really a bad thing, I suppose.
On the home front, I'm the worst mother in the world this week - the baby had an ear infection and I didn't even realise until I saw gunk coming out of her ear. I thought she was teething, poor little bubba. Five kids before we get an ear infection and I don't even notice - I'm supposed to be the eagle eye worrywart around here.
My other lady went to the hospital to get her bandage changed and had her first physio session. Physio went really well, although it was only for her hands. The skin is a little tight but should be okay as long we do the exercises with her every day. They cancelled the appointment with the occupational therapist because her stomach hasn't had a chance to heal enough to scar and her hands are fine.
Her stomach - she was really upset getting her bandage changed and they were close to admitting her again but in the end they sent her home. It's healing away and we're back in next week for another bandage change but no more physio for a while. She was upset this morning because her big brother was off to school, I think she's bored without him because the twins are more of the rough and sweet sneaking but less of the fun big kid game playing. Going to have to break out the arts and crafts a bit more this week. Yeah, glitter. Woo. Hoo.
This week, my family is mourning the loss of our favourite act on Got to Dance. We love dancing shows, so what? :D I feel really bad for these lads because they were separate acts that got forced into being a duo because the judges couldn't choose between them - they have different styles, it must have been hard for them. *Gets attached to people she's seen on the telly for two minutes way too easily* Dude in the Red was amazingly shit-hot in his solo audition. Dude in the Blue was great too but DitR got more of an OMFG, how is he doing that kind of reaction.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Best Day Everrrrr
Check-in: I've written 6k since the last check-in. Visit the other participants here.
Since Wednesday, I've written 3k on one WIP and 3k on another. Half of that was this morning so I feel like I could have worked a lot harder, but sleep took priority over writing this week. :) I wrote a ginormous blog post and deleted it, the gist being how tired I was of working in the same genre for the last few months. I'm going to try and divide my time and allow myself to work on other things when I get bored. Problem solved.
By the way, my new 4yr old had the best birthday ever on Friday (judging by the amount of snuggles, I love yous and thanks I got) and I still have star shaped marks all over my skin from where I was decorated with a million tiny stickers that I somehow didn't notice my children sticking to me on Saturday. Please let them stay fun when they're in their teens - I'll have five teenagers at the same time someday so wish me luck.
Since Wednesday, I've written 3k on one WIP and 3k on another. Half of that was this morning so I feel like I could have worked a lot harder, but sleep took priority over writing this week. :) I wrote a ginormous blog post and deleted it, the gist being how tired I was of working in the same genre for the last few months. I'm going to try and divide my time and allow myself to work on other things when I get bored. Problem solved.
By the way, my new 4yr old had the best birthday ever on Friday (judging by the amount of snuggles, I love yous and thanks I got) and I still have star shaped marks all over my skin from where I was decorated with a million tiny stickers that I somehow didn't notice my children sticking to me on Saturday. Please let them stay fun when they're in their teens - I'll have five teenagers at the same time someday so wish me luck.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Insania
Can't sleep. I've spent a fair chunk of my life not being able to sleep. The only cure is writing but I haven't been able to do much of that tonight. My best writing comes during those bouts of insomnia - and also when I'm drunk but we don't need to dwell on that one - but, alas, not tonight. I needed a firmer hold on the novelette so printed it out and attacked it with a red pen. I kind of enjoyed it (shush, don't tell anyone). I only made it through seven pages (but they are absolutely covered in tiny red scrawl) because the baby was unwell and decided she wanted to sleep straight up, in my arms. Instead of working, I read and now she's settled, it's roughly half six in the morning and the birthday girl will be up in about an hour so not much point even trying to sleep.
I already know I'm going to have serious trouble trying to figure out all of the red scrawl - not to mention the great sprawling arrows flying all over the page. I learned to write tiny when I was a kid for two reasons. One, because there was never an abundance of paper (except for that time my mother worked for a paper factory, that rocked) and two, so nobody could read it. In school, I wrote tinchy in the hopes the teacher wouldn't be able to understand it and toss it aside without reading it. If they asked me to read stories out loud, I would speak really fast and really low so nobody could hear me. If you've heard me speaking, you'll know I speak fast anyway so picture turbo speed reading. That would be my super power. Sadly.
Back when I started blogging - not this one - I used to panic whenever I received a comment. My heart would race at the idea someone actually read what I had written. Or worse - disagreed. *Gasps of horror* Whenever someone online would say, oh I read your last blog post, I would probably break out into a cold sweat before I read til the end of their sentence. If I posted something, um, controversial, I wouldn't check my email the next morning - delaying the onslaught of virtual torches and pitchforks for as long as possible.
Funny thing. Nobody ever disagreed with me. Nobody ever argued a point. Nobody ever said anything that wasn't supportive or funny or super-awesomely-cool. The fear was for nothing. The temptation to unpublish was for nothing. I don't know how I scraped through unscathed, by the way, I was particularly vocal on some big issues but despite the huge amount of traffic certain "opinions" got me, nobody told me to feck off. Despite me cringing at the lack of coherency of my blog, people still came back for me. Not everyone, but that was okay. Some blogs just aren't for everyone.
The same weird fears are still there, partly regarding this blog but mostly about writing and publishing. That notion of who do I think I am, they're all looking at me, pointing and staring, ready to eat me alive still lingers. Probably always will. We really put ourselves out there and provide the whips to lash us with, in all honesty. Brave wee things, really. Either brash or cringing, we're all waiting for the feedback, the words that let us know how we're doing and if others approve.
Before I pressed publish on dtp (or kdp or whatever the hell it is now) I nearly threw up. And why? First, it was in case someone actually bought it. Yeah, I know. I know - and hello, welcome to my life. Next was the whole what if they don't like it? I might die, oh, no, wait, actually, I won't. Sometimes I get paranoid and loseresque and think what if they talk about it behind my back and . . . and laffs at mes. But, wait, do I really, honestly, care about the opinion of people who act that way? Um, no, stopped caring about a decade or so ago. So what am I worried about again? About what might happen?
Sooooo, what if the might happens and what ifs turn out to be . . . kinda good? Nice, even? I'd be missing out over a little thing like fear. Huh. And what if somebody didn't like it, or somebody laughed at me? Would I really be afraid to try things forever, just in case? Would I really try to spite myself because I gave some random, hypothetical person power over me?
It's 7am now so I'll leave it at that. This is what Claire's brain sounds like when she can't sleep. Not pretty, is it? Have a good weekend people. I'm off to celebrate the fact I have a 4 year old again - 4s rock.
I already know I'm going to have serious trouble trying to figure out all of the red scrawl - not to mention the great sprawling arrows flying all over the page. I learned to write tiny when I was a kid for two reasons. One, because there was never an abundance of paper (except for that time my mother worked for a paper factory, that rocked) and two, so nobody could read it. In school, I wrote tinchy in the hopes the teacher wouldn't be able to understand it and toss it aside without reading it. If they asked me to read stories out loud, I would speak really fast and really low so nobody could hear me. If you've heard me speaking, you'll know I speak fast anyway so picture turbo speed reading. That would be my super power. Sadly.
Back when I started blogging - not this one - I used to panic whenever I received a comment. My heart would race at the idea someone actually read what I had written. Or worse - disagreed. *Gasps of horror* Whenever someone online would say, oh I read your last blog post, I would probably break out into a cold sweat before I read til the end of their sentence. If I posted something, um, controversial, I wouldn't check my email the next morning - delaying the onslaught of virtual torches and pitchforks for as long as possible.
Funny thing. Nobody ever disagreed with me. Nobody ever argued a point. Nobody ever said anything that wasn't supportive or funny or super-awesomely-cool. The fear was for nothing. The temptation to unpublish was for nothing. I don't know how I scraped through unscathed, by the way, I was particularly vocal on some big issues but despite the huge amount of traffic certain "opinions" got me, nobody told me to feck off. Despite me cringing at the lack of coherency of my blog, people still came back for me. Not everyone, but that was okay. Some blogs just aren't for everyone.
The same weird fears are still there, partly regarding this blog but mostly about writing and publishing. That notion of who do I think I am, they're all looking at me, pointing and staring, ready to eat me alive still lingers. Probably always will. We really put ourselves out there and provide the whips to lash us with, in all honesty. Brave wee things, really. Either brash or cringing, we're all waiting for the feedback, the words that let us know how we're doing and if others approve.
Before I pressed publish on dtp (or kdp or whatever the hell it is now) I nearly threw up. And why? First, it was in case someone actually bought it. Yeah, I know. I know - and hello, welcome to my life. Next was the whole what if they don't like it? I might die, oh, no, wait, actually, I won't. Sometimes I get paranoid and loseresque and think what if they talk about it behind my back and . . . and laffs at mes. But, wait, do I really, honestly, care about the opinion of people who act that way? Um, no, stopped caring about a decade or so ago. So what am I worried about again? About what might happen?
Sooooo, what if the might happens and what ifs turn out to be . . . kinda good? Nice, even? I'd be missing out over a little thing like fear. Huh. And what if somebody didn't like it, or somebody laughed at me? Would I really be afraid to try things forever, just in case? Would I really try to spite myself because I gave some random, hypothetical person power over me?
It's 7am now so I'll leave it at that. This is what Claire's brain sounds like when she can't sleep. Not pretty, is it? Have a good weekend people. I'm off to celebrate the fact I have a 4 year old again - 4s rock.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Ereader-less
My ereader is broken. *Cries*
It broke in the hospital and we still haven't been able to get it working so I'm now trying to accept the loss. Too many birthdays over the next few months to even think about replacing it. Editing is going to suck.
I've been trying to read a paperback since the weekend. No. Just no. I would rather read on my laptop than hold an actual book. It hurts my wrists - anyone else panic when they feel pain in their wrists? It's kind of worrying when holding a book hurts - doesn't bode well for writing. Note to self: make OH gain some transcription skills.
Excuse me while I go listen to the song, Bitch, Cry and Moan.
It broke in the hospital and we still haven't been able to get it working so I'm now trying to accept the loss. Too many birthdays over the next few months to even think about replacing it. Editing is going to suck.
I've been trying to read a paperback since the weekend. No. Just no. I would rather read on my laptop than hold an actual book. It hurts my wrists - anyone else panic when they feel pain in their wrists? It's kind of worrying when holding a book hurts - doesn't bode well for writing. Note to self: make OH gain some transcription skills.
Excuse me while I go listen to the song, Bitch, Cry and Moan.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Rolling
Condensed version: The novellette draft is up to 11k right now. Up roughly 9k since the last check-in post so technically my word count goal is achieved this week. Visit the other participants who are linked here.
Long, rambling version: I've written 11k since Saturday. The basic storyline is done, I'm in the process of padding it out with (hopefully real) facts and character development. I like to work that way on shorter stories. I've spent way too much time staring at detailed maps of Ireland and figuring out what route the characters will take. More fun than it sounds. Stuff like that never makes it into my stories but I like to know which direction people are going in and how long it will take.
The end story should hit around 20k. First draft might be finished this week. I'll probably drop it and get back onto Taunt before the week is out because I want the draft of Taunt to be finished this month. I can dream. :)
Family schtuff. This week, my big girl turns four (and my little girl, seven months). Her burns aren't healing well as expected and it will be next week before a final decision is made on the skin graft - plus her physiotherapy starts next week too. This month is looking busy - we have to enrol the big girl in primary school (hello, long arse queues in the birth cert office) and the twins in playschool to secure their places, the baby is due a hearing/development test, we have to go through the (too freaking slow and red-taped) speech therapy assessment crap with our eldest again and all of the animals are overdue on their boosters. The joys of large familes. :D
Long, rambling version: I've written 11k since Saturday. The basic storyline is done, I'm in the process of padding it out with (hopefully real) facts and character development. I like to work that way on shorter stories. I've spent way too much time staring at detailed maps of Ireland and figuring out what route the characters will take. More fun than it sounds. Stuff like that never makes it into my stories but I like to know which direction people are going in and how long it will take.
The end story should hit around 20k. First draft might be finished this week. I'll probably drop it and get back onto Taunt before the week is out because I want the draft of Taunt to be finished this month. I can dream. :)
Family schtuff. This week, my big girl turns four (and my little girl, seven months). Her burns aren't healing well as expected and it will be next week before a final decision is made on the skin graft - plus her physiotherapy starts next week too. This month is looking busy - we have to enrol the big girl in primary school (hello, long arse queues in the birth cert office) and the twins in playschool to secure their places, the baby is due a hearing/development test, we have to go through the (too freaking slow and red-taped) speech therapy assessment crap with our eldest again and all of the animals are overdue on their boosters. The joys of large familes. :D
Monday, February 14, 2011
The UnRomantic Writer
Valentine's Day. Never a card exchanged in my house. I hate cards and dying flowers, and unless a box of chocolates has the name Ferrero Rocher on the cover, it's going to have yucky leftovers like Turkish Delight and Strawberry Fondants once I'm through with them. These things are wasted on me. I'm not romantic, or sweet, or lovey-dovey. At all. Which is why it's strange that on the eve of Valentine's Day, I wrote over 4k on a new story that has a strong element of romance. Strong. There may even be *gasp* an intimate scene or two.
There are times when my OH asks what I'm working on, I tell him, and his reaction is um, are you sure you want to be writing that?
Thirst, a book in which the word blood is mentioned a lot. A word that frequently makes me go weak at the knees. Yep, just hearing the word has been known to make me pass out. I'm phobic, what can I say? I carried on with it anyway because if I didn't, the idea itself would have suffocated me. For the record, I didn't pass out once while writing Thirst - although I sometimes had trouble reading certain scenes during the editing stages. :P
Short stories because they often provoke. . . strong reactions. My OH enjoys the likes of Saw (sorry, too sick for me and even newspaper headlines make me cry on a regular basis) but when I persuaded him to read some of my flash fiction a year ago, he was . . . traumatised. Just for a while but still - wuss. He, rightly so, tried to warn me that some people might get upset but I went ahead with it anyway - gut reaction to being told something might not be a great idea.
And finally, romance. Anything that revolves around love or romance or romantic cheesiness of any sort. This is met with sentences like - But, Claire, have you ever even read a romance? So I'm not romantic. Love poems/songs make me snigger. I would laugh in my OH's face if he got down on one knee for anything, ever. However, just because I'm not romantic doesn't mean my characters don't want a little loving every now and then.
I'll be pushing on with all of the stories I haven't published yet because I'm uncomfortable with the romantic scenes. I have a lot of unfinished business on my hard drive. It only really clicked with me today something they all have in common - I cringe when reading the scenes that involve attraction/romance/love. Sad for me, I can't judge that sort of thing so it reads as cheesy no matter what I do. That's if I even manage to write those scenes, most of the time I bottle it and change the storyline to suit the complete lack of romanticism in my nature.
I see lots of romance novel reading in my future. And daring myself to go for it with the romantic aspects in my own writing. The only way to get over it is to get on with it, right?
There are times when my OH asks what I'm working on, I tell him, and his reaction is um, are you sure you want to be writing that?
Thirst, a book in which the word blood is mentioned a lot. A word that frequently makes me go weak at the knees. Yep, just hearing the word has been known to make me pass out. I'm phobic, what can I say? I carried on with it anyway because if I didn't, the idea itself would have suffocated me. For the record, I didn't pass out once while writing Thirst - although I sometimes had trouble reading certain scenes during the editing stages. :P
Short stories because they often provoke. . . strong reactions. My OH enjoys the likes of Saw (sorry, too sick for me and even newspaper headlines make me cry on a regular basis) but when I persuaded him to read some of my flash fiction a year ago, he was . . . traumatised. Just for a while but still - wuss. He, rightly so, tried to warn me that some people might get upset but I went ahead with it anyway - gut reaction to being told something might not be a great idea.
And finally, romance. Anything that revolves around love or romance or romantic cheesiness of any sort. This is met with sentences like - But, Claire, have you ever even read a romance? So I'm not romantic. Love poems/songs make me snigger. I would laugh in my OH's face if he got down on one knee for anything, ever. However, just because I'm not romantic doesn't mean my characters don't want a little loving every now and then.
I'll be pushing on with all of the stories I haven't published yet because I'm uncomfortable with the romantic scenes. I have a lot of unfinished business on my hard drive. It only really clicked with me today something they all have in common - I cringe when reading the scenes that involve attraction/romance/love. Sad for me, I can't judge that sort of thing so it reads as cheesy no matter what I do. That's if I even manage to write those scenes, most of the time I bottle it and change the storyline to suit the complete lack of romanticism in my nature.
I see lots of romance novel reading in my future. And daring myself to go for it with the romantic aspects in my own writing. The only way to get over it is to get on with it, right?
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Mammy Hat
Check-in time - support the other participants here. To summarise, roughly 2k of a draft written, just not the right WIP.
It's been hard to take off the mammy hat lately. My OH keeps going, why aren't you writing? I don't know why, but when something major (to me) happens, I don't want to do anything. Ever again. The longer I let it go on for, the harder it is to snap out of it. Himself knows this so didn't let me away with it. Weirdo. :P
After much persuading/bribing/tormenting, I got to work. On something new. Oops. Over the weekend, I've written an outline and about 2k of a novellette idea I had a while back - the idea didn't work before but some random research inspired me to take a second look then as I was outlining, I came up with something better. It's fun and new and experimental and different to everything else I've done - always a plus.
Haven't touched Taunt but I've been working out the atmosphere a little more. You know, in my head. I'm getting back to that during the week, particularly on the organisational crap that I keep putting off. I'm scared I'm going to mess it up completely. Sequels scare the shit out of me. I've, like, four "first in a series/trilogy" written, maybe four more "almost" written. Can't handle book 2. It's ridiculous.
Anyway, we're back in the hospital tomorrow to get my daughter's bandages changed - I can hear the hysterics already - so I'm not expecting next check-in to be full of achievement but I'm feeling good for Sunday's check-in. Wish me luck! Also, the baby's bottom teeth cut through this week, explains the sudden sleepless nights. :D
It's been hard to take off the mammy hat lately. My OH keeps going, why aren't you writing? I don't know why, but when something major (to me) happens, I don't want to do anything. Ever again. The longer I let it go on for, the harder it is to snap out of it. Himself knows this so didn't let me away with it. Weirdo. :P
After much persuading/bribing/tormenting, I got to work. On something new. Oops. Over the weekend, I've written an outline and about 2k of a novellette idea I had a while back - the idea didn't work before but some random research inspired me to take a second look then as I was outlining, I came up with something better. It's fun and new and experimental and different to everything else I've done - always a plus.
Haven't touched Taunt but I've been working out the atmosphere a little more. You know, in my head. I'm getting back to that during the week, particularly on the organisational crap that I keep putting off. I'm scared I'm going to mess it up completely. Sequels scare the shit out of me. I've, like, four "first in a series/trilogy" written, maybe four more "almost" written. Can't handle book 2. It's ridiculous.
Anyway, we're back in the hospital tomorrow to get my daughter's bandages changed - I can hear the hysterics already - so I'm not expecting next check-in to be full of achievement but I'm feeling good for Sunday's check-in. Wish me luck! Also, the baby's bottom teeth cut through this week, explains the sudden sleepless nights. :D
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Updates
Not much for the check-in. Taunt is up to 16k - barely. Things will get back on track, I'm just exhausted right now. Check out the rest of the participants here.
My daughter is home, yay. Her burns are healing well (so they tell me, they look awful to me) and she didn't pick up a bug in hospital after all. Little panickers. She's kind of bored and afraid to use her hands but she's *gasp* using her imagination to entertain herself. She's still paranoid about anyone touching her wounds. If the twins even look in her direction, I hear a high-pitched shriek. Mammy! They're going to touch my belly!
Her hair is a mass of tangles (for reference, her hair was perfect when we left the hospital. Fifteen minutes in the car and it was a ball of knots). It's like her hair goes, ooh, they're not looking, let's screw with their heads and tangle ourselves until we look nice and matted. That never been brushed look is so in right now. It looks like she'll be fine by her birthday so that's a relief. We're just trying to get back to normal right now.
My daughter is home, yay. Her burns are healing well (so they tell me, they look awful to me) and she didn't pick up a bug in hospital after all. Little panickers. She's kind of bored and afraid to use her hands but she's *gasp* using her imagination to entertain herself. She's still paranoid about anyone touching her wounds. If the twins even look in her direction, I hear a high-pitched shriek. Mammy! They're going to touch my belly!
Her hair is a mass of tangles (for reference, her hair was perfect when we left the hospital. Fifteen minutes in the car and it was a ball of knots). It's like her hair goes, ooh, they're not looking, let's screw with their heads and tangle ourselves until we look nice and matted. That never been brushed look is so in right now. It looks like she'll be fine by her birthday so that's a relief. We're just trying to get back to normal right now.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Now Why You Wanna Go And Do That?
Writers are always asked questions like what made you start writing, where did you get your inspiration from, etc. The question I've been asked most over the years (even before I epublished) is why. Why flash fiction, why such depressing concepts, why fantasy, why overdone ideas (werewolves, vampires, witches, angels, underwolds, afterlife), why such open-ended conclusions, just why.
It's hard to answer. I honestly can't remember what sparks most of the stories that come to me. First and foremost, I write about the characters in my head. I don't worry about their story - I just give them a voice. I know it isn't going to please everyone and I'm fully aware some of the things I write upset people (and there will always be lots of people who think that what I put out there is crap but nowt I can do about that one) but I don't sweep uncomfortable issues under the carpet - that's how people get away with horrific crimes for years and years. I don't make an attempt to upset people either, shocking people is never my intention.
Some of what I write comes from real life in ways I can't fully explain here - I know so many families living with secrets, the past can't be acknowledged, the guilty can move on and the victims are expected to cope too. No. I hate that. I hate that new generations of children are unnecessarily put at risk but nobody will talk about, acknowledge, or face up to past horrors.
I try to stay off the soapbox but people need to speak out and deal with shit. There's someone in my life who barely understands how much of a victim they are but they are basically ostracised from their family who stick by the guilty party and won't hear a word of what happened because "it was years ago." Fuck that.
I'm not claiming to be an expert in anything, I can only write what makes sense to me. In one of my short story collections is a story called A Skeleton in my Closet and another called Childlike Bride. The victims in these stories are defenseless and abandoned by those who should be there to protect them. Not everyone gets my intentions with those stories but that's the chance we take when we write anything. In the story, Justice, most people feel that a young child was harmed but when I first wrote it, the child was the woman's grown-up daughter and the man was the daughter's partner. That's the beauty of a short story, it's so open to interpretation that it can be a hundred different stories depending on who reads it.
With the other collection, Sixty Seconds, a lot of the stories involve gangland type crimes. I remember going to school and seeing police beat up schoolfriend's older brothers. I remember police running away in fear. I keep seeing old friends and their families in the paper because they've killed people or been shot at. I know young fathers who were murdered before they could see their unborn children and I know victims who just can't take it anymore. I know families who are torn apart and can't go home because it's too dangerous. I've had a seven year old boy threaten to rape me, egged on by older lads (guess what he grew up to be). An old friend grew up to be a woman beating animal who almost strangled his girlfriend because she miscarried. Someone close to me held a stranger as the man bled to death after being shot. A friend's boyfriend threatened to burn down my house and kill my family because his girlfriend wouldn't answer the phone. I deal with these things by writing stories. They aren't directly taken from life but it's my way of getting the crap out of my head.
Going back to victims being forced to "forget" about the past and move on for the sake of family, this even applies slightly to Thirst. Ava's relationship with her grandmother has a similar theme running through it - Ava's unacknowledged trauma hasn't been dealt with and comes through in her OCD. The OCD aspect is there because there is no other outlet for her anxiety - she's a number counter and it gives her a sense of control. She's a functioning adult, she went to school, she had a serious boyfriend but she chooses to distance herself from society, thus accentuating her symptoms. (I have social anxiety, if I avoid people, it gets worse so this was my thinking regarding Ava - however, I can make a show of being normal if I have to, I've been "acting" most of my life).
Most people have some form of OCD but it isn't all about keeping things in order and it isn't the comic thing that most of us make light of now and then. There's all sorts of serious forms of OCD regarding numbers - rarely acknowledged fully in media but in the film Camp, one of the characters mentions their number issue that requires medication - and a lot of sufferers don't realise that it is actually OCD and that many other people are going through the same thing. Yay for the 'net, letting people know they aren't alone.
It's hard to understand if you haven't dealt with it and it isn't a quirk, it's pretty fucking serious if you can't control it. There are many forms, counting and multiplying randomly, hearing a word and repeating it using the order of numbers in the alphabet (and using those numbers mathematically to eventually come up with a certain base number) or having good and bad numbers and doing anything possible not to use the bad numbers.
There is so much more than this that I could never do justice to, I'm just trying to give basic examples but you catch my drift. In every day life this can be more consuming than hand washing and it's an internal symptom that isn't picked up on by other people all that often. Imagine being a little kid trying to explain why you're spacing out when you have absolutely no idea what you're doing.
In pretty much all of the longer stories I write, there's forms of racism. Not based on colour (because I don't have the skills), but more of a species/fantasy race prejudice type thing. Probably because I find racism impossible to understand. I suppose I'll keep using it subconsciously until I figure it out in my head. I'm just thinking about all of the novels I've written and yep, there's always something that boils down to racism - more importantly, fear and ignorance. I need a new theme. :)
I'm a selfish writer. I write for me. I don't write for fame or fortune (sorry OH), I write to make myself happy. I write the things I want to read. I don't know how to write any other way. I like to know the reasons why people act the way they do and writing helps me understand problems, motivations, disorders. My answer to why I write is that I need to understand why. Not knowing, not understanding, this gets in the way of me dealing with anything. I need the answer to why to move on so I write to find/understand some of the answers. I live in major fear of someone hurting my kids, it's something I became quite obsessive about until I started letting it go by writing stories - I have trouble dealing with my past, so I write about it (no, I don't publish those stories, LOL). Basically the answer to every question is writing is my way of letting my warped mind deal with life without me cracking up completely.
Maybe I'll get into the overused fantasy issue (and the lack of HEAs) some other time, this post is long enough. :)
It's hard to answer. I honestly can't remember what sparks most of the stories that come to me. First and foremost, I write about the characters in my head. I don't worry about their story - I just give them a voice. I know it isn't going to please everyone and I'm fully aware some of the things I write upset people (and there will always be lots of people who think that what I put out there is crap but nowt I can do about that one) but I don't sweep uncomfortable issues under the carpet - that's how people get away with horrific crimes for years and years. I don't make an attempt to upset people either, shocking people is never my intention.
Some of what I write comes from real life in ways I can't fully explain here - I know so many families living with secrets, the past can't be acknowledged, the guilty can move on and the victims are expected to cope too. No. I hate that. I hate that new generations of children are unnecessarily put at risk but nobody will talk about, acknowledge, or face up to past horrors.
I try to stay off the soapbox but people need to speak out and deal with shit. There's someone in my life who barely understands how much of a victim they are but they are basically ostracised from their family who stick by the guilty party and won't hear a word of what happened because "it was years ago." Fuck that.
I'm not claiming to be an expert in anything, I can only write what makes sense to me. In one of my short story collections is a story called A Skeleton in my Closet and another called Childlike Bride. The victims in these stories are defenseless and abandoned by those who should be there to protect them. Not everyone gets my intentions with those stories but that's the chance we take when we write anything. In the story, Justice, most people feel that a young child was harmed but when I first wrote it, the child was the woman's grown-up daughter and the man was the daughter's partner. That's the beauty of a short story, it's so open to interpretation that it can be a hundred different stories depending on who reads it.
With the other collection, Sixty Seconds, a lot of the stories involve gangland type crimes. I remember going to school and seeing police beat up schoolfriend's older brothers. I remember police running away in fear. I keep seeing old friends and their families in the paper because they've killed people or been shot at. I know young fathers who were murdered before they could see their unborn children and I know victims who just can't take it anymore. I know families who are torn apart and can't go home because it's too dangerous. I've had a seven year old boy threaten to rape me, egged on by older lads (guess what he grew up to be). An old friend grew up to be a woman beating animal who almost strangled his girlfriend because she miscarried. Someone close to me held a stranger as the man bled to death after being shot. A friend's boyfriend threatened to burn down my house and kill my family because his girlfriend wouldn't answer the phone. I deal with these things by writing stories. They aren't directly taken from life but it's my way of getting the crap out of my head.
Going back to victims being forced to "forget" about the past and move on for the sake of family, this even applies slightly to Thirst. Ava's relationship with her grandmother has a similar theme running through it - Ava's unacknowledged trauma hasn't been dealt with and comes through in her OCD. The OCD aspect is there because there is no other outlet for her anxiety - she's a number counter and it gives her a sense of control. She's a functioning adult, she went to school, she had a serious boyfriend but she chooses to distance herself from society, thus accentuating her symptoms. (I have social anxiety, if I avoid people, it gets worse so this was my thinking regarding Ava - however, I can make a show of being normal if I have to, I've been "acting" most of my life).
Most people have some form of OCD but it isn't all about keeping things in order and it isn't the comic thing that most of us make light of now and then. There's all sorts of serious forms of OCD regarding numbers - rarely acknowledged fully in media but in the film Camp, one of the characters mentions their number issue that requires medication - and a lot of sufferers don't realise that it is actually OCD and that many other people are going through the same thing. Yay for the 'net, letting people know they aren't alone.
It's hard to understand if you haven't dealt with it and it isn't a quirk, it's pretty fucking serious if you can't control it. There are many forms, counting and multiplying randomly, hearing a word and repeating it using the order of numbers in the alphabet (and using those numbers mathematically to eventually come up with a certain base number) or having good and bad numbers and doing anything possible not to use the bad numbers.
There is so much more than this that I could never do justice to, I'm just trying to give basic examples but you catch my drift. In every day life this can be more consuming than hand washing and it's an internal symptom that isn't picked up on by other people all that often. Imagine being a little kid trying to explain why you're spacing out when you have absolutely no idea what you're doing.
In pretty much all of the longer stories I write, there's forms of racism. Not based on colour (because I don't have the skills), but more of a species/fantasy race prejudice type thing. Probably because I find racism impossible to understand. I suppose I'll keep using it subconsciously until I figure it out in my head. I'm just thinking about all of the novels I've written and yep, there's always something that boils down to racism - more importantly, fear and ignorance. I need a new theme. :)
I'm a selfish writer. I write for me. I don't write for fame or fortune (sorry OH), I write to make myself happy. I write the things I want to read. I don't know how to write any other way. I like to know the reasons why people act the way they do and writing helps me understand problems, motivations, disorders. My answer to why I write is that I need to understand why. Not knowing, not understanding, this gets in the way of me dealing with anything. I need the answer to why to move on so I write to find/understand some of the answers. I live in major fear of someone hurting my kids, it's something I became quite obsessive about until I started letting it go by writing stories - I have trouble dealing with my past, so I write about it (no, I don't publish those stories, LOL). Basically the answer to every question is writing is my way of letting my warped mind deal with life without me cracking up completely.
Maybe I'll get into the overused fantasy issue (and the lack of HEAs) some other time, this post is long enough. :)
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Yeah.
Just skip to the end for my actual check-in.
On Wednesday I said Taunt was up to 14k. Later that day, I think, my laptop decided to mess with me and I ended up losing some of Taunt.
On Thursday, I caught up and brought Taunt back up to 14k. I despise rewriting lost material.
On Friday, my daughter scalded herself and ended up in A&E. She spilled a drop of something hot, panicked and managed to knock the rest of it over her. They bandaged her hands and stomach and she got home late that night. I went into a weird place, somehow blaming writing on her accident. I wasn't writing at the time so I suppose I just want to blame something other than myself. I was two feet away from her and saw it happening but didn't get to her in time to stop it.
A second quicker and I might have gotten my own arms in the way and taken the worst of it for her. Just one second and I could have taken some of her pain. The screams alone broke my heart, I was shaking more than her. It's hard to keep your own child calm when you're about to fall apart yourself but they tend to bounce back a lot quicker than you. I couldn't even take her to the hospital because I'm still breastfeeding and we don't have a car (or carseats) so it just made more sense for her Dad to take her in a taxi instead of me taking her and the baby. The baby was upset all night anyway so maybe I should have gone. I basically fretted with the phone in my hand until they returned.
On Saturday morning, my OH took our daughter back to the hospital to see the plastic surgeon. It's a busy hospital and 8am is the only time you're guaranteed to see one. It was meant to be a ten minute visit but they decided her burns were worse than they thought so she's in there until Tuesday at the very least. That will be the day they decide if skin grafts are needed.
I stayed there last night and came home this morning to feed the baby basically. I'm having something to eat myself then spending time with the other kids before switching places with my OH and spending the night again. She's using my laptop to watch DVDs and she's being very brave. It's less than two weeks before her 4th birthday and she hasn't whined at all - even though she has a right too. She did give me attitude last night though, a sure sign she's doing well. :)
I wrote a little while she was asleep so Taunt is up to 15k. I probably won't get a chance to do much visiting this week so check out the other participants here.
On Wednesday I said Taunt was up to 14k. Later that day, I think, my laptop decided to mess with me and I ended up losing some of Taunt.
On Thursday, I caught up and brought Taunt back up to 14k. I despise rewriting lost material.
On Friday, my daughter scalded herself and ended up in A&E. She spilled a drop of something hot, panicked and managed to knock the rest of it over her. They bandaged her hands and stomach and she got home late that night. I went into a weird place, somehow blaming writing on her accident. I wasn't writing at the time so I suppose I just want to blame something other than myself. I was two feet away from her and saw it happening but didn't get to her in time to stop it.
A second quicker and I might have gotten my own arms in the way and taken the worst of it for her. Just one second and I could have taken some of her pain. The screams alone broke my heart, I was shaking more than her. It's hard to keep your own child calm when you're about to fall apart yourself but they tend to bounce back a lot quicker than you. I couldn't even take her to the hospital because I'm still breastfeeding and we don't have a car (or carseats) so it just made more sense for her Dad to take her in a taxi instead of me taking her and the baby. The baby was upset all night anyway so maybe I should have gone. I basically fretted with the phone in my hand until they returned.
On Saturday morning, my OH took our daughter back to the hospital to see the plastic surgeon. It's a busy hospital and 8am is the only time you're guaranteed to see one. It was meant to be a ten minute visit but they decided her burns were worse than they thought so she's in there until Tuesday at the very least. That will be the day they decide if skin grafts are needed.
I stayed there last night and came home this morning to feed the baby basically. I'm having something to eat myself then spending time with the other kids before switching places with my OH and spending the night again. She's using my laptop to watch DVDs and she's being very brave. It's less than two weeks before her 4th birthday and she hasn't whined at all - even though she has a right too. She did give me attitude last night though, a sure sign she's doing well. :)
I wrote a little while she was asleep so Taunt is up to 15k. I probably won't get a chance to do much visiting this week so check out the other participants here.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Knock 123
I can't stop listening to this song today. It's a perfect writing playlist song for a certain WIP.
I love Imelda May. Most of her stuff is rockabilly and she's from the same area as me - the Liberties is full of untapped talent, just sayin . . . . I don't know her personally but I'm a big fan and I always like to hear a familiar accent on interviews. :) I honestly don't know why she isn't blazing the charts on a regular basis. This needs to be rectified.
I'm so tired of sexified (to the point of caricature) female singers. It's not original anymore to keep pushing the limits. If you have to try that hard . . . :/ Why not try something like, I don't know, a singing voice good enough to stand on its own?
Another amazing lady is Adele. Listen. Watch. Be blown away.
My laptop went insane yesterday and lost all of my work from the day before so I spent yesterday catching up and now I'm entirely unmotivated. Hence this post. I'm going to watch the Lightning Thief with the family now and maybe later I'll think about forcing myself to do some work. :)
Have a great weekend!
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Cleopatra, Coming At Ya
This is me procrastinating. I haven't written a non-ROW80 post in an age.
I'm on the fence about some stuff . . . again. Kinda sorta thinking about doing something I haven't considered before. Two or three things, actually. They could benefit me in the long term but in the short term, would definitely get in the way of what I'm doing right now. I hate being a grown-up sometimes.
Other news. In January (by the way, how awesome was January for ebook sales? People don't read anymore, really?), my OH challenged me to accomplish a certain something by my birthday in March. Managed it on the 1st of February so I earned myself a new desk. Hell to the yeah. I work well on rewards, I like the pretties. :)
Speaking of pretties, I gots mah hair did last night. Four hours of sitting around doing nothing. I hate getting my hair done which is why it's a rarity. If I had to actually go to a hairdressers, I'd just stay home and learn how to do it myself. Anyway, by 11pm, I had a bob, black and (Rihanna) red hair plus my first fringe in about thirteen years. Bloody hell, that takes some getting used to.
Interesting post on DWS's blog today - comparing the cash flow of indie and trad publishing. And while you're at it, here's one from Camille LaGuire. I meant to link to it before but it's a good one for those who are wondering why all of these "crappy" books are selling so well. Though not exactly connected, this reminds me, I recently read a review that basically implied the reviewer normally had trouble reading books and that particular book was written so simply that (even) they were able to read and enjoy it. A lot of writers look down their nose at simplicity, at "lesser" writing, but I think that's an amazing review.
Sometimes we forget that not all readers are the same or have the same reading level/wants/needs. Maybe one of the reasons why people haven't seemed to read as much over the last few decades is because there hasn't been books for them. Some of us become writers to write the things we want to read. We only have to do that if the need isn't being supplied. For whatever reason, there are those who want simple, uncomplicated styles of writing that allow them to easily enjoy a book - to be entertained in a non-taxing way. Others want more dense and thought provoking books. Some want a mixture of both.
The point is, there's a place for all kinds of literature and certain books become popular for a reason - usually because the writer knows (and finds) their audience.
I'm on the fence about some stuff . . . again. Kinda sorta thinking about doing something I haven't considered before. Two or three things, actually. They could benefit me in the long term but in the short term, would definitely get in the way of what I'm doing right now. I hate being a grown-up sometimes.
Other news. In January (by the way, how awesome was January for ebook sales? People don't read anymore, really?), my OH challenged me to accomplish a certain something by my birthday in March. Managed it on the 1st of February so I earned myself a new desk. Hell to the yeah. I work well on rewards, I like the pretties. :)
Speaking of pretties, I gots mah hair did last night. Four hours of sitting around doing nothing. I hate getting my hair done which is why it's a rarity. If I had to actually go to a hairdressers, I'd just stay home and learn how to do it myself. Anyway, by 11pm, I had a bob, black and (Rihanna) red hair plus my first fringe in about thirteen years. Bloody hell, that takes some getting used to.
Interesting post on DWS's blog today - comparing the cash flow of indie and trad publishing. And while you're at it, here's one from Camille LaGuire. I meant to link to it before but it's a good one for those who are wondering why all of these "crappy" books are selling so well. Though not exactly connected, this reminds me, I recently read a review that basically implied the reviewer normally had trouble reading books and that particular book was written so simply that (even) they were able to read and enjoy it. A lot of writers look down their nose at simplicity, at "lesser" writing, but I think that's an amazing review.
Sometimes we forget that not all readers are the same or have the same reading level/wants/needs. Maybe one of the reasons why people haven't seemed to read as much over the last few decades is because there hasn't been books for them. Some of us become writers to write the things we want to read. We only have to do that if the need isn't being supplied. For whatever reason, there are those who want simple, uncomplicated styles of writing that allow them to easily enjoy a book - to be entertained in a non-taxing way. Others want more dense and thought provoking books. Some want a mixture of both.
The point is, there's a place for all kinds of literature and certain books become popular for a reason - usually because the writer knows (and finds) their audience.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
February Fresh
I love February. At school, the first of February is the day we would go to the canal to get reeds and make the cross of St Brigid to mark the first day of Spring. I miss having stupid looking home-made reed crosses around. :)
First Check-In of February and I figured I needed to take a look at my goals - considering I completely forgot about one of them last month. So my original (major) goals were:
I definitely got my weekly words done but mostly because I banged them all out in the one session.
I edited half of Verity then decided it needed a rewrite so changed my goal to that. I finished that on Sunday so it now needs some space and then a round of edits. For real this time.
I completely forgot about the short story.
I replotted Taunt. Literally the only thing that went to plan in January. Although it took longer than I expected. :)
The first draft of Taunt is now at 14k words. I'm a little sad I took such a detour from it but I was able to jump straight into it this morning so it's looking like it's not quite as cold as I feared.
Taking all of that into account - here are my new goals for February:
First Check-In of February and I figured I needed to take a look at my goals - considering I completely forgot about one of them last month. So my original (major) goals were:
- Write 500 words a day, Monday to Friday (at least)
- Write 2,500 words a week (at least)
- Edit the y/a novel (without clawing my eyes out)
- Write one short story a month
- Replot Taunt
- Rewrite first draft of Taunt
I definitely got my weekly words done but mostly because I banged them all out in the one session.
I edited half of Verity then decided it needed a rewrite so changed my goal to that. I finished that on Sunday so it now needs some space and then a round of edits. For real this time.
I completely forgot about the short story.
I replotted Taunt. Literally the only thing that went to plan in January. Although it took longer than I expected. :)
The first draft of Taunt is now at 14k words. I'm a little sad I took such a detour from it but I was able to jump straight into it this morning so it's looking like it's not quite as cold as I feared.
Taking all of that into account - here are my new goals for February:
- Write at least 500 words a day - Monday to Friday. I'm keeping this because I still need that schedule to kick in for me or I'll waste hours when I should be at least attempting to write.
- Write at least 5,000 words a week. I'm upping this because I need to get this draft of Taunt done, hopefully this month but if not at least I'll have a good chunk done.
- Finish rewriting the first draft of Taunt.
- Spend at least a half hour daily working on organisation. By organisation, I mean keeping my folders and files updated, regarding, in particular, character sheets and world building info - actually, over the weekend, the twins pretty much destroyed everything I had done so far so I've a lot to do here.
Good luck in February people! Check out everyone else's progress here.
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