Deadlines, Goals and Pressure, Oh My!

I'm the first to admit I haven't exactly been working very hard lately.  I've been reading a lot, mostly non-fiction books about writing.  In particular, seeing how much time other people invest in their writing made me think honestly about my own position.  I can't physically work non-stop for hours without falling asleep or whatever right now.  Time is ticking on though.  I need to get a move on.

I got a fright the other day because I realised my next baby is due in ten weeks.  I've never gone full term so realistically I have eight weeks at most to get some real work done and that isn't even taking into consideration how uncomfortable it is for me to type right now and how that is going to get progressively worse as time passes on.  I'm running out of time.  How much can I even accomplish in 6 to 10 weeks anyway?

Going on past performance, if I get stuck in, I can finish a first draft in two weeks.  I've done it a couple of times now and it's the easiest part of the whole process.  Turning that first draft into something worthwhile is another thing but word count wise, I can get a lot done.  If I feel like it.  Therein lies the problem, I need goals and deadlines and pressure to get moving properly.  Going at a leisurely pace is probably not the best idea for me.  Especially when I'll be forced to slow down soon enough.

But until that happens, I have some time and I need some plans.  Ideally, I'd like to have a first draft of a novel finished.  It's started, it's plotted, but it still needs to be written down in detail.  I'd like to plan an outline of some sort for another novel.  I'm not too pushed on how detailed this has to be because I work out things in my head when I'm doing anything else so theoretically this shouldn't be too hard.  I'd like to get some real editing work done on another WIP.  That's my priority and that's the one which is most difficult to do because I don't have the time to distance myself from it.  I have other finished drafts that need an edit but this one is at the forefront of my mind no matter what I do therefore it gets priority.

I'm going to try and keep some sort of record of progress on my blog for myself.  I need the reminders and I need the pressure.  Publicising the things I haven't done seems to work quite well so I'm going to give it a go.  I'm hopeful I'll get a lot of work done in the next two months because the longer I stop, the harder it will be to get going again.  And the more work I get done now, the more I'll be able to read over when I can't write.  I don't know how long it will take for me to get back into writing on a daily basis after the baby is born but I plan on doing Nanowrimo this year again so I'll be back on form by then at the very latest.
The thing about setting goals and deadlines for myself is that everything can change.  I was supposed to go to college this year but it ended up being unworkable so I changed my goals for the year.  And now here I am changing them again.  I have a long term plan.  It's not exactly detailed but I only have a certain amount of time left at home.  When all of the children are in school then I'll have to go out to work.  Unless of course I pull off some success doing other things, like writing.  I'm more than realistic about the chances of me having to go outside the home to work.  But that doesn't stop me aiming for my goals.  In fact, it makes me even more determined to give it a good effort.

I'll probably be 30 when I have to make a choice.  It won't be solely my choice either.  But hopefully by then my choice will actually be a choice.  I hope I'll have options.  If I work hard then I'll have plenty of finished drafts/manuscripts to work with.  And I'll probably have a better idea of where I stand on the whole indie publishing side of things.  Ideally, I'll have the strength to make the right choice for me.  If I go back to work, writing will have to be a hobby - at least for a while.  Fecking hate that word.  That is what I'm dreading.  But it wouldn't be fair on me to keep indulging myself if my family are losing out.  They lose out everytime I'm preoccupied with developing a character or trying to figure a way out of a conflict I've created.  I've always known in the back of my mind that one day I'll have to choose between family or writing, my two greatest loves.  It's better for me to write, it's better for them if I have the sort of job I can leave behind at the end of the working day.  But until I have to pick, I'm going to enjoy both, give myself deadlines, put on a bit of pressure and aim for my goals.

Short term goals: 

1. Get a new first draft finished.
2. Plan a full outline for new novel.
3. Edit full manuscript to a more polished level.

Long term goals:

1. Get a lot more writing experience under my belt.
2. Get a lot more indie publishing experience.
3. Make a fully informed decision on a career path.

Write What You Know - Or Not

When people ask for writing advice, they are often told to write what they know.  It's easier, they are assured.  So, what do I know?

I know how to type fast.  I know how to use a computer.  I know how to change a poopy nappy in about three seconds.  I know how to negotiate with a toddler.  I know how to give birth.  I know how to be a nagging, over protective mother.  I know how to avoid cleaning at all costs.  I know how to tell I've had enough wine before I drink too much.  I know how to force 5 a day into my kids.  I know how to guilt trip my partner into cleaning poo off a small child who has removed their poopy nappy during the night and destroyed their cot. 

I live my own life every day.  Why on earth would I want to write about it?

If I stick to what I know, I'm left with Mommy lit, pretty much.  And yes, I can write it.  I used to write semi amusing articles on what it was like to be a parent/pregnant/insane.  They went down well but again, that leaves me reliving my regular life.

For me, writing is about escaping.  Creating.  Jumping into another world.  While I might take along some of my own experiences, most of the enjoyment I get from writing is developing the fantasy, the characters and the unbelievable.

A lot of people read about lives that are far away from their own.  I like to write about lives that are far away from my own.  I've dabbled in genres that were closer to home but the problem lies in the lack of excitement for me.  I find it so hard to get excited about writing things that happen to me every day.  Throw in something supernatural, paranormal or else something that is so new to me it requires weeks of research and I'm gloriously happy.  I really love researching.

I'm not opposed to writing about things you know.  But personally, I find it a lot easier to churn out words of make believe than those soaked in truth.  If you're stuck, switch it up a bit.  All of the rules that writers seem to come up can be broken.  Pet peeve number 451 - when writers do a course/attend a lecture and spout what they've heard as gospel truth forever more.  (And get mad when you don't listen to them.)

I say, don't write about what you know (unless you really want to).  Write about what you want to know and feel free to incorporate real life experiences into that.  But don't feel pressured into sticking with one genre or another.  Creativity is freedom, so let go.

Trust Yourself - Write For You

I've been learning a lesson I thought I already knew.  Something in the universe has been throwing signs at me and who am I to ignore them?  I've always said you need to trust yourself and to let go of that doubt writers are often inflicted with.

I say I want to write for me.  I want to write what I enjoy and find readers like me.  People who will enjoy it too.  But then I doubt myself.  I panic.  I switch up and write for others.  And that doesn't work out.  You can't please everyone. 

That's so important I'll say it again.  You cannot please everyone.  No matter how epic your writing skills are, you will be going in one direction with a story.  Not everyone will want to follow.  But that's okay.  Because you need to write your story. 

Almost all of the most popular/prolific writers have weak books.  Why?  Maybe they're burnt out.  Maybe churning out a book or two a year for twenty years isn't working anymore.  And maybe, just maybe, they've stopped writing to please themselves and are only writing for others.  What they think people want.

Writing to fill an empty spot in a market or to fulfill a request or just because you're terrified what you come up with won't be good enough - not a great plan.  Trust yourself.  Write for you.  And you'll have a book you enjoy.  A book you're proud of.  And that's enough.  If you let it be.

Stupid Bloody Ads & Rage, Rage, Rage

*Warning - Rant Alert*

Yes, I've been poncing about with many, many template changes again.  I'm having trouble finding the right one.  It doesn't help when certain idiotic template sites lead me onto a big ass advertisement page that screws up my whole computer in its quest to get me to read some irrelevant crap about something I'm not even remotely interested in.  What kind of gobshite thinks that's going to get people to return to their site?  Unobtrustive ads can be vaguely annoying but are pretty easy to explore so when the whole fooking page disappears to be covered with some ridiculously pointless ad, I get enraged.

Hormonal?  Moi?  The fact that my daughter's hair falling out of the stupid bobbin holding it up five times in a row made me cry with anger this morning does not make me hormonal.  Nor does the fact that the nicest template I have ever seen is so fooked up with fixed widths and shite that even a week of fiddling with it can't help me use it.  Even the niggling irritations I feel when I'm asked to do something ridiculous to my characters such as forced marriages, kidnapping and *other* stuff doesn't make me hormonal. 

The fact that I'm pissed off there is still a few days until the next episode of Supernatural might make me slightly hormonal.  Or just obsessed, I'm not actually sure.  The extreme tantrum my 3 year old had today for absolutely no reason at all makes her hormonal.  My reaction to spin my head around 360 degrees was perfectly normal.  And who wouldn't cling to their loved ones like a limpet after having a nightmare about them? 

In fact the only thing that makes me hormonal is when people use the word hormonal to describe me.  I'm talking to you, Baby Daddy.  The fact this post has gone completely off topic is not even worth discussing.  It was the ads that started it.  Blame them.  And blame yourself if you're responsible for any of those stupid bloody ads that crash my laptop and make me crack up.  Just don't do it.

Better now.  Going to write.  Maybe.

Procrastination Can Be Productive Too

I still haven't technically gotten back to work yet.  I've been spending a lot of time rearranging documents and setting up new documents & folders and creating lists of things using pretty colours and stylin' fonts.  I'm making things easier for myself in the long run.  Hmm. 

I imported my blog feed list and it hasn't updated so I had to do it manually.  How am I supposed to procrastinate properly if I don't know exactly when a blog updates?  And really quick before I get back to boasting about how productive I am, it is be an agent for the day time again on Nathan Bransford's blog.  I can't tell you how fascinating I find queries to be.  I love reading them.  Apparently I'm not good at picking the best one because the one I liked least is the most popular.  :)

Back to me.  I made myself a little daily writing planner.  It's very cool and even includes breaks, forum lurking and blog hopping, all daily essentials that I need to get out of the way before I get to the good stuff.  See, I know me - I know if I don't allow for things like that, I'll end up doing them anyway.  Repeatedly.  So it's better to make them part of the job.  I separated my various writing tasks to keep myself on a strict schedule and onroute to a set target.  When I complete a task, I fill it in with a nice shade of green.  Just because.  I felt like I had accomplished something big.  A breakthrough on my way to becoming more productive.

Then I had a nap.  A long one.  When I woke up, it was late and I got distracted by some crushed ice.  Then I wasn't sure if I should start at the beginning of my schedule or not.  Then I remembered that I was supposed to try out that Storybook program and see what I thought about it.  Then, then, then, then, then.  I didn't get any real writing work done.  I am a lot more organised than I was last week on the other hand.  That counts, right?

Novel Writing Software

I've finally managed to move my folders from the broken laptop to a small netbook I gave up on ages ago.  There's nothing really wrong with the netbook, but I'm finding it a lot harder to edit on a smaller screen and have pretty much avoided writing altogether.  Browsing the net isn't exactly a joyful event either - not to mention having to sign into all three million accounts I seem to have online.  I'm not good with passwords and I have a passionate hatred towards any kind of login process. 

Technically I have everything I need to get back into working on "stuff" but I feel like I'm missing out on something.  Even though I've had a break for a few days aside from writing down a few notes on new scenes and ideas for new material, I'm not running at neck breaking speed towards my documents.  The break has really renewed my interest but I'm so unorganised that it is putting me at a disadvantage right now and I need something to help me re-organise.  It's a lot harder to focus on a tiny screen that shows like a paragraph at a time and comparing notes?  Not working out.

I've lusted after Scrivener for ages (because it looks cool) but there isn't a Windows version and that Macbook purchase is way off into the distant future.  So I've been looking at other free programs or at least programs with a free trial that I can test out.  I need something that will hold a lot of separate notes all on the one easy to read screen.  I had downloaded one program onto the old laptop but I forget the name and it wasn't much use either - aside from checking out how many times I overused a phrase.  I love that kind of feature. 

I've now downloaded Storybook which is supposed to keep track of characters and plot line strands which sounds really useful because of the type of editing and re-writing I'm doing.  I haven't really figured it out yet but if I was starting from scratch with something then it would probably be a lot simpler.  I may have to resort to the Post-It method of keeping tracking with the novels I've already started.  I've been looking for reviews or advice on the best type of software or manual method of keeping track but haven't had much luck so far.  Any recommendations or links would be thanked muchly.  I'm not completely dense, I have some sort of method, it just isn't working for me right this instant.  :)

Antocide

Yes, there are more important things I could be doing but little black creeping insects on my counters instil a strange sort of need in me to declare war.  They are trying to take over my house.  I need to fight back.   I am not generally an ant hater but I think that might be down to the fact I had never seen a trail of ants in a house until we moved here last year.  That infestation was relatively quick but body shudderingly yucky all the same.  I don't like uninvited guests of any kind.  (Last year, my kids made friends with other kids because the number one game to play was Die, Ants, Die.  They didn't die.)

Over the weekend, my laptop was pretty much destroyed by an unnamed toddler.  Unnamed because nobody is naming names or pointing fingers.  Give them a few years and they'll be selling each other out - I hope.  I can't use it right now and had things to do so got up early and went downstairs to steal borrow my partner's laptop instead.  Technology is not a friend of mine, getting a lend of anything that requires a battery or a hard drive is a near impossible task.  Anything remotely electrical chooses not to work when I am around.  It's a very special gift I have.

Anyway, I went downstairs in the dark and of course mooched into the kitchen first.  I need snackage before I can work.  Turning on the light and carrying the kettle to the sink I drew back in horror as an army of ants threatened to descend upon me.  Okay, they all tried to run away as soon as I got near them but I gave a girlish shriek and frantically sprayed them with the nearest disinfectant type liquid before running for my life.  I'm not actually scared of ants, I just don't like to be surprised by a mass of crawling black things when I least expect it.

I ventured back into the kitchen when my heart resumed beating at a sensible pace and saw that the ants were all gone.  I'm not sure if they evaded the spray, chuckling devishly at my amateurish attempt to murder them or if the surviving but wounded ants bravely carried their fallen comrades away.  I don't really care, the fact that I didn't have to clean up any dead bodies meant score one to me.

I don't enjoy killing insects (although my cat seems to be having fun hunting them) so I've been looking for ways to make my home less appealing.  With small children and pets, there will always be something appetising to eat but it's only April, I can't handle six month infestation.  Google tells me there are a million and one ways to get rid of ants but they might not work, some ants are sturdier than others it seems and some less discerning in taste.  I've adjusted my online shopping list to include things like planted mint and scented baby powder in the hope they will keep away. 

If the many items on the list that might fool you into thinking I'm baking up quite a feast fail, I will be keeping an eye out for maize/cornmeal/whatever it is called over here as a last resort.  It seems kind of cruel to try and kill the whole colony but I'm having a baby this summer, if one ant crawls anywhere near her I will boil them.  And I'll get their Queen too.  Fair warning.  We don't have a garden so I have absolutely no idea where they are nesting but apparently all of the neighbours have them.  Short of opening jars of honey on all of their window ledges, I'm not sure how to distract the ants from my house until they feck off and die by themselves.  It's going to be an ant-obsessed summer - even now there are lines of salt and pools of vinegar decorating my downstairs.  Cleaning up in the mornings is going to be a bitch.