Check-in time - support the other participants here. To summarise, roughly 2k of a draft written, just not the right WIP.
It's been hard to take off the mammy hat lately. My OH keeps going, why aren't you writing? I don't know why, but when something major (to me) happens, I don't want to do anything. Ever again. The longer I let it go on for, the harder it is to snap out of it. Himself knows this so didn't let me away with it. Weirdo. :P
After much persuading/bribing/tormenting, I got to work. On something new. Oops. Over the weekend, I've written an outline and about 2k of a novellette idea I had a while back - the idea didn't work before but some random research inspired me to take a second look then as I was outlining, I came up with something better. It's fun and new and experimental and different to everything else I've done - always a plus.
Haven't touched Taunt but I've been working out the atmosphere a little more. You know, in my head. I'm getting back to that during the week, particularly on the organisational crap that I keep putting off. I'm scared I'm going to mess it up completely. Sequels scare the shit out of me. I've, like, four "first in a series/trilogy" written, maybe four more "almost" written. Can't handle book 2. It's ridiculous.
Anyway, we're back in the hospital tomorrow to get my daughter's bandages changed - I can hear the hysterics already - so I'm not expecting next check-in to be full of achievement but I'm feeling good for Sunday's check-in. Wish me luck! Also, the baby's bottom teeth cut through this week, explains the sudden sleepless nights. :D
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Updates
Not much for the check-in. Taunt is up to 16k - barely. Things will get back on track, I'm just exhausted right now. Check out the rest of the participants here.
My daughter is home, yay. Her burns are healing well (so they tell me, they look awful to me) and she didn't pick up a bug in hospital after all. Little panickers. She's kind of bored and afraid to use her hands but she's *gasp* using her imagination to entertain herself. She's still paranoid about anyone touching her wounds. If the twins even look in her direction, I hear a high-pitched shriek. Mammy! They're going to touch my belly!
Her hair is a mass of tangles (for reference, her hair was perfect when we left the hospital. Fifteen minutes in the car and it was a ball of knots). It's like her hair goes, ooh, they're not looking, let's screw with their heads and tangle ourselves until we look nice and matted. That never been brushed look is so in right now. It looks like she'll be fine by her birthday so that's a relief. We're just trying to get back to normal right now.
My daughter is home, yay. Her burns are healing well (so they tell me, they look awful to me) and she didn't pick up a bug in hospital after all. Little panickers. She's kind of bored and afraid to use her hands but she's *gasp* using her imagination to entertain herself. She's still paranoid about anyone touching her wounds. If the twins even look in her direction, I hear a high-pitched shriek. Mammy! They're going to touch my belly!
Her hair is a mass of tangles (for reference, her hair was perfect when we left the hospital. Fifteen minutes in the car and it was a ball of knots). It's like her hair goes, ooh, they're not looking, let's screw with their heads and tangle ourselves until we look nice and matted. That never been brushed look is so in right now. It looks like she'll be fine by her birthday so that's a relief. We're just trying to get back to normal right now.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Now Why You Wanna Go And Do That?
Writers are always asked questions like what made you start writing, where did you get your inspiration from, etc. The question I've been asked most over the years (even before I epublished) is why. Why flash fiction, why such depressing concepts, why fantasy, why overdone ideas (werewolves, vampires, witches, angels, underwolds, afterlife), why such open-ended conclusions, just why.
It's hard to answer. I honestly can't remember what sparks most of the stories that come to me. First and foremost, I write about the characters in my head. I don't worry about their story - I just give them a voice. I know it isn't going to please everyone and I'm fully aware some of the things I write upset people (and there will always be lots of people who think that what I put out there is crap but nowt I can do about that one) but I don't sweep uncomfortable issues under the carpet - that's how people get away with horrific crimes for years and years. I don't make an attempt to upset people either, shocking people is never my intention.
Some of what I write comes from real life in ways I can't fully explain here - I know so many families living with secrets, the past can't be acknowledged, the guilty can move on and the victims are expected to cope too. No. I hate that. I hate that new generations of children are unnecessarily put at risk but nobody will talk about, acknowledge, or face up to past horrors.
I try to stay off the soapbox but people need to speak out and deal with shit. There's someone in my life who barely understands how much of a victim they are but they are basically ostracised from their family who stick by the guilty party and won't hear a word of what happened because "it was years ago." Fuck that.
I'm not claiming to be an expert in anything, I can only write what makes sense to me. In one of my short story collections is a story called A Skeleton in my Closet and another called Childlike Bride. The victims in these stories are defenseless and abandoned by those who should be there to protect them. Not everyone gets my intentions with those stories but that's the chance we take when we write anything. In the story, Justice, most people feel that a young child was harmed but when I first wrote it, the child was the woman's grown-up daughter and the man was the daughter's partner. That's the beauty of a short story, it's so open to interpretation that it can be a hundred different stories depending on who reads it.
With the other collection, Sixty Seconds, a lot of the stories involve gangland type crimes. I remember going to school and seeing police beat up schoolfriend's older brothers. I remember police running away in fear. I keep seeing old friends and their families in the paper because they've killed people or been shot at. I know young fathers who were murdered before they could see their unborn children and I know victims who just can't take it anymore. I know families who are torn apart and can't go home because it's too dangerous. I've had a seven year old boy threaten to rape me, egged on by older lads (guess what he grew up to be). An old friend grew up to be a woman beating animal who almost strangled his girlfriend because she miscarried. Someone close to me held a stranger as the man bled to death after being shot. A friend's boyfriend threatened to burn down my house and kill my family because his girlfriend wouldn't answer the phone. I deal with these things by writing stories. They aren't directly taken from life but it's my way of getting the crap out of my head.
Going back to victims being forced to "forget" about the past and move on for the sake of family, this even applies slightly to Thirst. Ava's relationship with her grandmother has a similar theme running through it - Ava's unacknowledged trauma hasn't been dealt with and comes through in her OCD. The OCD aspect is there because there is no other outlet for her anxiety - she's a number counter and it gives her a sense of control. She's a functioning adult, she went to school, she had a serious boyfriend but she chooses to distance herself from society, thus accentuating her symptoms. (I have social anxiety, if I avoid people, it gets worse so this was my thinking regarding Ava - however, I can make a show of being normal if I have to, I've been "acting" most of my life).
Most people have some form of OCD but it isn't all about keeping things in order and it isn't the comic thing that most of us make light of now and then. There's all sorts of serious forms of OCD regarding numbers - rarely acknowledged fully in media but in the film Camp, one of the characters mentions their number issue that requires medication - and a lot of sufferers don't realise that it is actually OCD and that many other people are going through the same thing. Yay for the 'net, letting people know they aren't alone.
It's hard to understand if you haven't dealt with it and it isn't a quirk, it's pretty fucking serious if you can't control it. There are many forms, counting and multiplying randomly, hearing a word and repeating it using the order of numbers in the alphabet (and using those numbers mathematically to eventually come up with a certain base number) or having good and bad numbers and doing anything possible not to use the bad numbers.
There is so much more than this that I could never do justice to, I'm just trying to give basic examples but you catch my drift. In every day life this can be more consuming than hand washing and it's an internal symptom that isn't picked up on by other people all that often. Imagine being a little kid trying to explain why you're spacing out when you have absolutely no idea what you're doing.
In pretty much all of the longer stories I write, there's forms of racism. Not based on colour (because I don't have the skills), but more of a species/fantasy race prejudice type thing. Probably because I find racism impossible to understand. I suppose I'll keep using it subconsciously until I figure it out in my head. I'm just thinking about all of the novels I've written and yep, there's always something that boils down to racism - more importantly, fear and ignorance. I need a new theme. :)
I'm a selfish writer. I write for me. I don't write for fame or fortune (sorry OH), I write to make myself happy. I write the things I want to read. I don't know how to write any other way. I like to know the reasons why people act the way they do and writing helps me understand problems, motivations, disorders. My answer to why I write is that I need to understand why. Not knowing, not understanding, this gets in the way of me dealing with anything. I need the answer to why to move on so I write to find/understand some of the answers. I live in major fear of someone hurting my kids, it's something I became quite obsessive about until I started letting it go by writing stories - I have trouble dealing with my past, so I write about it (no, I don't publish those stories, LOL). Basically the answer to every question is writing is my way of letting my warped mind deal with life without me cracking up completely.
Maybe I'll get into the overused fantasy issue (and the lack of HEAs) some other time, this post is long enough. :)
It's hard to answer. I honestly can't remember what sparks most of the stories that come to me. First and foremost, I write about the characters in my head. I don't worry about their story - I just give them a voice. I know it isn't going to please everyone and I'm fully aware some of the things I write upset people (and there will always be lots of people who think that what I put out there is crap but nowt I can do about that one) but I don't sweep uncomfortable issues under the carpet - that's how people get away with horrific crimes for years and years. I don't make an attempt to upset people either, shocking people is never my intention.
Some of what I write comes from real life in ways I can't fully explain here - I know so many families living with secrets, the past can't be acknowledged, the guilty can move on and the victims are expected to cope too. No. I hate that. I hate that new generations of children are unnecessarily put at risk but nobody will talk about, acknowledge, or face up to past horrors.
I try to stay off the soapbox but people need to speak out and deal with shit. There's someone in my life who barely understands how much of a victim they are but they are basically ostracised from their family who stick by the guilty party and won't hear a word of what happened because "it was years ago." Fuck that.
I'm not claiming to be an expert in anything, I can only write what makes sense to me. In one of my short story collections is a story called A Skeleton in my Closet and another called Childlike Bride. The victims in these stories are defenseless and abandoned by those who should be there to protect them. Not everyone gets my intentions with those stories but that's the chance we take when we write anything. In the story, Justice, most people feel that a young child was harmed but when I first wrote it, the child was the woman's grown-up daughter and the man was the daughter's partner. That's the beauty of a short story, it's so open to interpretation that it can be a hundred different stories depending on who reads it.
With the other collection, Sixty Seconds, a lot of the stories involve gangland type crimes. I remember going to school and seeing police beat up schoolfriend's older brothers. I remember police running away in fear. I keep seeing old friends and their families in the paper because they've killed people or been shot at. I know young fathers who were murdered before they could see their unborn children and I know victims who just can't take it anymore. I know families who are torn apart and can't go home because it's too dangerous. I've had a seven year old boy threaten to rape me, egged on by older lads (guess what he grew up to be). An old friend grew up to be a woman beating animal who almost strangled his girlfriend because she miscarried. Someone close to me held a stranger as the man bled to death after being shot. A friend's boyfriend threatened to burn down my house and kill my family because his girlfriend wouldn't answer the phone. I deal with these things by writing stories. They aren't directly taken from life but it's my way of getting the crap out of my head.
Going back to victims being forced to "forget" about the past and move on for the sake of family, this even applies slightly to Thirst. Ava's relationship with her grandmother has a similar theme running through it - Ava's unacknowledged trauma hasn't been dealt with and comes through in her OCD. The OCD aspect is there because there is no other outlet for her anxiety - she's a number counter and it gives her a sense of control. She's a functioning adult, she went to school, she had a serious boyfriend but she chooses to distance herself from society, thus accentuating her symptoms. (I have social anxiety, if I avoid people, it gets worse so this was my thinking regarding Ava - however, I can make a show of being normal if I have to, I've been "acting" most of my life).
Most people have some form of OCD but it isn't all about keeping things in order and it isn't the comic thing that most of us make light of now and then. There's all sorts of serious forms of OCD regarding numbers - rarely acknowledged fully in media but in the film Camp, one of the characters mentions their number issue that requires medication - and a lot of sufferers don't realise that it is actually OCD and that many other people are going through the same thing. Yay for the 'net, letting people know they aren't alone.
It's hard to understand if you haven't dealt with it and it isn't a quirk, it's pretty fucking serious if you can't control it. There are many forms, counting and multiplying randomly, hearing a word and repeating it using the order of numbers in the alphabet (and using those numbers mathematically to eventually come up with a certain base number) or having good and bad numbers and doing anything possible not to use the bad numbers.
There is so much more than this that I could never do justice to, I'm just trying to give basic examples but you catch my drift. In every day life this can be more consuming than hand washing and it's an internal symptom that isn't picked up on by other people all that often. Imagine being a little kid trying to explain why you're spacing out when you have absolutely no idea what you're doing.
In pretty much all of the longer stories I write, there's forms of racism. Not based on colour (because I don't have the skills), but more of a species/fantasy race prejudice type thing. Probably because I find racism impossible to understand. I suppose I'll keep using it subconsciously until I figure it out in my head. I'm just thinking about all of the novels I've written and yep, there's always something that boils down to racism - more importantly, fear and ignorance. I need a new theme. :)
I'm a selfish writer. I write for me. I don't write for fame or fortune (sorry OH), I write to make myself happy. I write the things I want to read. I don't know how to write any other way. I like to know the reasons why people act the way they do and writing helps me understand problems, motivations, disorders. My answer to why I write is that I need to understand why. Not knowing, not understanding, this gets in the way of me dealing with anything. I need the answer to why to move on so I write to find/understand some of the answers. I live in major fear of someone hurting my kids, it's something I became quite obsessive about until I started letting it go by writing stories - I have trouble dealing with my past, so I write about it (no, I don't publish those stories, LOL). Basically the answer to every question is writing is my way of letting my warped mind deal with life without me cracking up completely.
Maybe I'll get into the overused fantasy issue (and the lack of HEAs) some other time, this post is long enough. :)
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Yeah.
Just skip to the end for my actual check-in.
On Wednesday I said Taunt was up to 14k. Later that day, I think, my laptop decided to mess with me and I ended up losing some of Taunt.
On Thursday, I caught up and brought Taunt back up to 14k. I despise rewriting lost material.
On Friday, my daughter scalded herself and ended up in A&E. She spilled a drop of something hot, panicked and managed to knock the rest of it over her. They bandaged her hands and stomach and she got home late that night. I went into a weird place, somehow blaming writing on her accident. I wasn't writing at the time so I suppose I just want to blame something other than myself. I was two feet away from her and saw it happening but didn't get to her in time to stop it.
A second quicker and I might have gotten my own arms in the way and taken the worst of it for her. Just one second and I could have taken some of her pain. The screams alone broke my heart, I was shaking more than her. It's hard to keep your own child calm when you're about to fall apart yourself but they tend to bounce back a lot quicker than you. I couldn't even take her to the hospital because I'm still breastfeeding and we don't have a car (or carseats) so it just made more sense for her Dad to take her in a taxi instead of me taking her and the baby. The baby was upset all night anyway so maybe I should have gone. I basically fretted with the phone in my hand until they returned.
On Saturday morning, my OH took our daughter back to the hospital to see the plastic surgeon. It's a busy hospital and 8am is the only time you're guaranteed to see one. It was meant to be a ten minute visit but they decided her burns were worse than they thought so she's in there until Tuesday at the very least. That will be the day they decide if skin grafts are needed.
I stayed there last night and came home this morning to feed the baby basically. I'm having something to eat myself then spending time with the other kids before switching places with my OH and spending the night again. She's using my laptop to watch DVDs and she's being very brave. It's less than two weeks before her 4th birthday and she hasn't whined at all - even though she has a right too. She did give me attitude last night though, a sure sign she's doing well. :)
I wrote a little while she was asleep so Taunt is up to 15k. I probably won't get a chance to do much visiting this week so check out the other participants here.
On Wednesday I said Taunt was up to 14k. Later that day, I think, my laptop decided to mess with me and I ended up losing some of Taunt.
On Thursday, I caught up and brought Taunt back up to 14k. I despise rewriting lost material.
On Friday, my daughter scalded herself and ended up in A&E. She spilled a drop of something hot, panicked and managed to knock the rest of it over her. They bandaged her hands and stomach and she got home late that night. I went into a weird place, somehow blaming writing on her accident. I wasn't writing at the time so I suppose I just want to blame something other than myself. I was two feet away from her and saw it happening but didn't get to her in time to stop it.
A second quicker and I might have gotten my own arms in the way and taken the worst of it for her. Just one second and I could have taken some of her pain. The screams alone broke my heart, I was shaking more than her. It's hard to keep your own child calm when you're about to fall apart yourself but they tend to bounce back a lot quicker than you. I couldn't even take her to the hospital because I'm still breastfeeding and we don't have a car (or carseats) so it just made more sense for her Dad to take her in a taxi instead of me taking her and the baby. The baby was upset all night anyway so maybe I should have gone. I basically fretted with the phone in my hand until they returned.
On Saturday morning, my OH took our daughter back to the hospital to see the plastic surgeon. It's a busy hospital and 8am is the only time you're guaranteed to see one. It was meant to be a ten minute visit but they decided her burns were worse than they thought so she's in there until Tuesday at the very least. That will be the day they decide if skin grafts are needed.
I stayed there last night and came home this morning to feed the baby basically. I'm having something to eat myself then spending time with the other kids before switching places with my OH and spending the night again. She's using my laptop to watch DVDs and she's being very brave. It's less than two weeks before her 4th birthday and she hasn't whined at all - even though she has a right too. She did give me attitude last night though, a sure sign she's doing well. :)
I wrote a little while she was asleep so Taunt is up to 15k. I probably won't get a chance to do much visiting this week so check out the other participants here.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Knock 123
I can't stop listening to this song today. It's a perfect writing playlist song for a certain WIP.
I love Imelda May. Most of her stuff is rockabilly and she's from the same area as me - the Liberties is full of untapped talent, just sayin . . . . I don't know her personally but I'm a big fan and I always like to hear a familiar accent on interviews. :) I honestly don't know why she isn't blazing the charts on a regular basis. This needs to be rectified.
I'm so tired of sexified (to the point of caricature) female singers. It's not original anymore to keep pushing the limits. If you have to try that hard . . . :/ Why not try something like, I don't know, a singing voice good enough to stand on its own?
Another amazing lady is Adele. Listen. Watch. Be blown away.
My laptop went insane yesterday and lost all of my work from the day before so I spent yesterday catching up and now I'm entirely unmotivated. Hence this post. I'm going to watch the Lightning Thief with the family now and maybe later I'll think about forcing myself to do some work. :)
Have a great weekend!
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Cleopatra, Coming At Ya
This is me procrastinating. I haven't written a non-ROW80 post in an age.
I'm on the fence about some stuff . . . again. Kinda sorta thinking about doing something I haven't considered before. Two or three things, actually. They could benefit me in the long term but in the short term, would definitely get in the way of what I'm doing right now. I hate being a grown-up sometimes.
Other news. In January (by the way, how awesome was January for ebook sales? People don't read anymore, really?), my OH challenged me to accomplish a certain something by my birthday in March. Managed it on the 1st of February so I earned myself a new desk. Hell to the yeah. I work well on rewards, I like the pretties. :)
Speaking of pretties, I gots mah hair did last night. Four hours of sitting around doing nothing. I hate getting my hair done which is why it's a rarity. If I had to actually go to a hairdressers, I'd just stay home and learn how to do it myself. Anyway, by 11pm, I had a bob, black and (Rihanna) red hair plus my first fringe in about thirteen years. Bloody hell, that takes some getting used to.
Interesting post on DWS's blog today - comparing the cash flow of indie and trad publishing. And while you're at it, here's one from Camille LaGuire. I meant to link to it before but it's a good one for those who are wondering why all of these "crappy" books are selling so well. Though not exactly connected, this reminds me, I recently read a review that basically implied the reviewer normally had trouble reading books and that particular book was written so simply that (even) they were able to read and enjoy it. A lot of writers look down their nose at simplicity, at "lesser" writing, but I think that's an amazing review.
Sometimes we forget that not all readers are the same or have the same reading level/wants/needs. Maybe one of the reasons why people haven't seemed to read as much over the last few decades is because there hasn't been books for them. Some of us become writers to write the things we want to read. We only have to do that if the need isn't being supplied. For whatever reason, there are those who want simple, uncomplicated styles of writing that allow them to easily enjoy a book - to be entertained in a non-taxing way. Others want more dense and thought provoking books. Some want a mixture of both.
The point is, there's a place for all kinds of literature and certain books become popular for a reason - usually because the writer knows (and finds) their audience.
I'm on the fence about some stuff . . . again. Kinda sorta thinking about doing something I haven't considered before. Two or three things, actually. They could benefit me in the long term but in the short term, would definitely get in the way of what I'm doing right now. I hate being a grown-up sometimes.
Other news. In January (by the way, how awesome was January for ebook sales? People don't read anymore, really?), my OH challenged me to accomplish a certain something by my birthday in March. Managed it on the 1st of February so I earned myself a new desk. Hell to the yeah. I work well on rewards, I like the pretties. :)
Speaking of pretties, I gots mah hair did last night. Four hours of sitting around doing nothing. I hate getting my hair done which is why it's a rarity. If I had to actually go to a hairdressers, I'd just stay home and learn how to do it myself. Anyway, by 11pm, I had a bob, black and (Rihanna) red hair plus my first fringe in about thirteen years. Bloody hell, that takes some getting used to.
Interesting post on DWS's blog today - comparing the cash flow of indie and trad publishing. And while you're at it, here's one from Camille LaGuire. I meant to link to it before but it's a good one for those who are wondering why all of these "crappy" books are selling so well. Though not exactly connected, this reminds me, I recently read a review that basically implied the reviewer normally had trouble reading books and that particular book was written so simply that (even) they were able to read and enjoy it. A lot of writers look down their nose at simplicity, at "lesser" writing, but I think that's an amazing review.
Sometimes we forget that not all readers are the same or have the same reading level/wants/needs. Maybe one of the reasons why people haven't seemed to read as much over the last few decades is because there hasn't been books for them. Some of us become writers to write the things we want to read. We only have to do that if the need isn't being supplied. For whatever reason, there are those who want simple, uncomplicated styles of writing that allow them to easily enjoy a book - to be entertained in a non-taxing way. Others want more dense and thought provoking books. Some want a mixture of both.
The point is, there's a place for all kinds of literature and certain books become popular for a reason - usually because the writer knows (and finds) their audience.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
February Fresh
I love February. At school, the first of February is the day we would go to the canal to get reeds and make the cross of St Brigid to mark the first day of Spring. I miss having stupid looking home-made reed crosses around. :)
First Check-In of February and I figured I needed to take a look at my goals - considering I completely forgot about one of them last month. So my original (major) goals were:
I definitely got my weekly words done but mostly because I banged them all out in the one session.
I edited half of Verity then decided it needed a rewrite so changed my goal to that. I finished that on Sunday so it now needs some space and then a round of edits. For real this time.
I completely forgot about the short story.
I replotted Taunt. Literally the only thing that went to plan in January. Although it took longer than I expected. :)
The first draft of Taunt is now at 14k words. I'm a little sad I took such a detour from it but I was able to jump straight into it this morning so it's looking like it's not quite as cold as I feared.
Taking all of that into account - here are my new goals for February:
First Check-In of February and I figured I needed to take a look at my goals - considering I completely forgot about one of them last month. So my original (major) goals were:
- Write 500 words a day, Monday to Friday (at least)
- Write 2,500 words a week (at least)
- Edit the y/a novel (without clawing my eyes out)
- Write one short story a month
- Replot Taunt
- Rewrite first draft of Taunt
I definitely got my weekly words done but mostly because I banged them all out in the one session.
I edited half of Verity then decided it needed a rewrite so changed my goal to that. I finished that on Sunday so it now needs some space and then a round of edits. For real this time.
I completely forgot about the short story.
I replotted Taunt. Literally the only thing that went to plan in January. Although it took longer than I expected. :)
The first draft of Taunt is now at 14k words. I'm a little sad I took such a detour from it but I was able to jump straight into it this morning so it's looking like it's not quite as cold as I feared.
Taking all of that into account - here are my new goals for February:
- Write at least 500 words a day - Monday to Friday. I'm keeping this because I still need that schedule to kick in for me or I'll waste hours when I should be at least attempting to write.
- Write at least 5,000 words a week. I'm upping this because I need to get this draft of Taunt done, hopefully this month but if not at least I'll have a good chunk done.
- Finish rewriting the first draft of Taunt.
- Spend at least a half hour daily working on organisation. By organisation, I mean keeping my folders and files updated, regarding, in particular, character sheets and world building info - actually, over the weekend, the twins pretty much destroyed everything I had done so far so I've a lot to do here.
Good luck in February people! Check out everyone else's progress here.
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