Horse Outside

Quick edit here to say: 

• So sorry I chose blogger.  I'm really sorry to everyone who struggles to leave a comment, it's ridiculous.  I didn't know the comment thingy had changed so much when I started this blog.  Next time, I'm picking Wordpress.
• Thanks for the comments on the whole courage to be crap thing.  It's always a little reassuring when people get what you mean.  :)
• I am currently overwhelmed by new blogs, blog posts and comments.  If the world could stop blogging long enough for me to catch up, that would be ah-may-zang.
• The kids are back in school, the kids are back in school, the kids are back in schoo-oo-oo-ool.

***

He finally did it.  My OH has been pestering me with this song for weeks now and it's finally stuck in my head.  I wake up singing it, I fall asleep singing it, I'll go insane singing it. 

This was number 2 in the Irish charts by the way.  *Shakes head*

Unsuitable for work!  All I have to say is - Giddy up now, baby.

ROW80 - Week One

ROW80 updates today.  I hope everyone feels like they're doing well - if not, no worries, tomorrow is a brand new week.  Make a fresh start next week if you have to and keep making an effort at your goals, doesn't matter if you don't always meet your goals as long as you have a go.

I haven't done a great deal of work this week.  I haven't worked on Verity since my last update, but I'm getting a few hours to myself late tonight so if I'm awake, I'll work on that.  I'm using my ereader to make notes and such, then make the changes in my document when I'm done.  It's slow work but I find I do my best editing this way.  It's something I can do around the kids but not while I'm feeding the baby (or if the kids decide they want to scribble on my ereader too) so I generally have to wait until I've a child-free block of time.

I have around 4k of Taunt written, or rather rewritten.  It sounds okay until I tell you it was the part of the story that needed the least amount of work.  I printed out a hard copy of the document, went at it with a red pen, switched around the sequence of events and typed up the new first three chapters.  I took a quick glance at the entire first draft I had - it's not as awful as I thought but it needs a lot of tightening, better organisation of the time line and one particularly long conversation needs to be destroyed.  :)  I also realised I had forgotten a character or two and need to create some character sheets on them.

I only have the beginning of Taunt replotted but it's much better - I feel more focused on what's happening and yesterday some very important backstory showed itself for the first time.  I've been worrying about a certain storyline and feeling like the motivations weren't portrayed very well so now I have a new dimension to that which helps make it clearer and helps me with the portion of the story I'll be working on next week.  It wouldn't have occurred to me if I hadn't been thinking about the story every day so thank you, ROW80.

I feel like I didn't work very hard this week but tomorrow, the schools are open again so I'll have two less children at home in the mornings and the whole family will be back to a getting up at the same time every day routine which might actually help me with ROW80.  Hopefully, I'll be able to organise my time a bit better next week.  I have made an effort to do something every day so if that becomes a habit, I'll be very pleased.

Week One Update:

• Taunt - 4k (re)written
• Verity - 3 chapters edited
• Plot - First section done.

My reading challenge hasn't gone too well but that's normal for me.  Next week I could read ten books then the week after, nothing at all.  The fifteen minutes a day bit isn't happening.  Maybe next week.  :)

ETA:  Forgot to add the update link.  *And is typo queen today*

The Courage to be Crap and not Compete

I had to link to this blog post about writers not having to compete against each other.  It's about the myth that writers and books have to compete with each other.  Like people only buy one book in their lifetimes.  Really, the opposite is true - at least in my opinion.  People who like to read buy books.  Plural.  And lots of them.  They like a book and look for similar ones.  This is why Amazon's "people also bought" works so well.  One book succeeds and all of those linked to it do a lot better too.  I've talked about this before, I believe we will all ride on the coattails of somebody else's fame - it's a co-operative effort despite our claims of independence. 

On that particular article I linked to, there's the idea that indies are more likely to feel in competition with each other - and with traditionally published books too.  Bingo.  So very true.  Hang out on any writer's forum and this is the kind of atmosphere you'll eventually find.  Some get a tiny bit obsessed with what everyone else is doing and how to emulate it.  Unfortunately, the minority get a little bitter and twisted about how those they perceive as being less talented than them are doing so well with little effort.  (I know for a fact A Little Girl bugs the shit out of one or two people - in a good-natured sort of way - because I've never exactly ran around promoting it but it's a steady (but not great) seller.  It's okay, I'm baffled too). 

Lately, I've been a little saddened by a number of attitudes (by people I've thought were cool/nice/smart enough not to get dragged down by this) towards some who are quite successful even though they aren't the most skilled in the way of editing/grammar/spelling/etc.  I can't respect someone who makes snide remarks about their thoughts on another person's level of talent in a passive-aggressive sort of way.  If you think they aren't doing a good job then help them, why put them down and wait for readers to embarrass them?  To quote the post I linked to earlier:

If your book sucks, your story is dull, your cover bad and unreadable, it isn’t another writer’s fault. That is your fault.

Basically, my attitude is this.  If a writer is successful, they are doing something right - even if you think they are awful, awful writers (I'm sure Stephenie Meyers is very upset by claims of her lack of talent, yet remains well-buffered by her wads of cash).  If you aren't doing as well, maybe you're missing something.  You.  Don't waste time blaming somebody else.  Keep writing, work hard and you will get there when your time comes, there's room for lots of people to do well, chill. 


I read Dean Wesley Smith's blog regularly and get a kick out of it.  He writes those wake up and smell the coffee type posts wherein he sounds incredulous that people would even come up with this shit.  Love it.  If you're ever getting wrapped up in your own ego and what everyone else is doing and achieving, stop comparing rankings and sales long enough to read some of his blog posts and get a quick kick up the arse that will send you back down to earth where you belong. 

He writes posts like Dare to be Bad, which truly resonates with me.  In that one, he talks about being confident enough to send the work out to stand on its own legs before you edit and rewrite it to death.  I'm so not saying people don't need to edit - just, you know, learn to quit while you're ahead.  :)

This post reads as though it were written for me specifically.  Seriously, I edit and tweak the life out of everything.  I thought I hated editing (okay, I do, but not as much as I thought) because I have one manuscript in particular I just can't finish.  I've edited it so much, I've lost the heart of the story.  I've edited out the humour, the originality and everything that made me smile when I reread it.  I'm left with something that is technically better but a lot less fun to read. 

My problem is twofold.  I don't know when something is finished and I'm terrified of disappointing people.  I got over it a little when I published A Little Girl and One Night.  I disappointed enough people that I wasn't scared of it anymore.  :)  I'm fine with people not liking something but I have a problem with feeling like I took money from someone and disappointed them.  Negative comments don't actually hurt me though.

I learned things I would apply to other stories so I was happy with the feedback, good and bad.  Then I went back to work on a novel and lost my confidence (or courage) again.  I forced myself to publish something else before 2010 finished because it was a now or never sort of thing.  I hadn't finished anything all year and was holding myself back.  If I didn't publish Thirst when I did, I would have tweaked it for the next three years and probably ended up giving up on it.  I sent it out, listened to feedback and now believe it's not as good as I thought but not as bad as I panic-nightmared.  :)  Some people liked it, some people thought it was just okay and nobody's opinion killed me. 

Actually declaring a finishing point made me appreciate editing a little more and despise it a little less.  It will never be my friend but I think the whole arch-nemesis thing has calmed down a tad.  My new thing for this year is to stop being scared, to have the courage to be crap and to learn from said crapness for the next book.  We can't learn without making a few mistakes and breaking a few rules along the way - we can't move forward without risking failure too.  (Some of the most successful and not-so-successful indies this year took chances and risked failure while a lot of us hmmed and hawwed and were too scared to put our babies out there in case they weren't ready).  So I'm going to risk failing this year - it's better than not ever knowing.  /Epic post

Regrets: Comes with Bonus Lecture

I pride myself on going through life with as few regrets as possible.  I speak my mind, I do what I believe is the right thing, I write the stories I want regardless of the market, I make my own decisions (and take responsibility for them) and I'm happier for it.  The truth only offends the guilty, that's my kind of thinking.  I've done plenty of stupid things but most of them led me down the right path in the end so they worked out.

However, I have one regret.  It's kind of a biggie.  It's something I can't change and will always make me shake my fist at my younger self.  I'm in a happy place right now, I love my family and I get to write.  Bigtime loving going on.  Writing keeps my mind clear and (as long as I don't get suckered in to self-doubt and lack of sales depression lol) it makes me a happier person.  Writing regularly stops me from turning into a grumpy she-witch from hell.

It hasn't always been like that - hence the big regret.  I've taken this more seriously and have learned more in the past year than I could have dreamed possible.  But why couldn't I have learned all of this years ago, I would be awesome by now.  Or not, but try not to kill my dream.

When I began the Kindle thing, I had maybe four novels written and a whole pile of short stories.  The fact that none of those novels have been published tells you everything you need to know.  :)  I didn't write regularly, even before I had my children (when I really had no excuse) because I always gave up.  At various points in my life, certain major events pretty much killed me inside a little and the writing always stopped.  Once or twice, I ignored the words for years at a time.  I always thought it was because I was too worried/down to concentrate but (after writing through a relatively recent horrible event) I now see, I just gave up. 

That's my regret.  Giving up, not making the most of the time I had, not making more of an effort to learn, allowing the ego to grow large enough to occupy a country of its own when people (who didn't know better) praised instead of balancing their comments, trying to adjust stories to fit a certain length and never fully allowing real emotion.  It bugs me on a daily basis how much I've held myself back.  I can't blame anyone else or any of the things that happened.  I'm the one who made the decision to stop, to give up - I chose not to work through it.  I should have worked harder.  I'm the one who wasted time.  If I hadn't, I would have reached this stage a long time ago.

Which leads me on to a new pet peeve.  People undermining the success of young writers.  If they worked hard for years, they deserve their success.  Books don't fall out of your arse, you have to put time and effort into them.  I can't try to diminish the success of writers my age just because I was a lazy git while they worked hard, you know?

Leave genres out of it too.  Genre doesn't guarantee sales or success.  Trust me - my weird flash fiction sells a hell of a lot better than my urban fantasy (which contains a few vampires).  There has to be some talent there, some story that people connect with, some skill, a tiny bit of luck and most importantly, a market.  The amount of work, skill, talent and effort put into a book has no connection with age or genre. 

Someone who picks up a pen for the first time at 40 is not automatically "better" than a 30 year old who has been writing constantly since their teens (and in some cases, vice-versa).  And hot genres change, what does it matter anyway?  PnR writers aren't somehow stealing readers from Thriller writers.  (And yes, even though I am none of these things, the insinuations bother me greatly).  So, you know, stop.  Or I'll . . . have a moan on my blog.  ;)

ROW80 Update

'Tis Wednesday, day of the first ROW80 update.  I don't have much to report right now - I'm still trying to find my get up and go. 

The biggest thing for me is how unorganised I am.  I need a new printer cartridge, the shop I usually get them is out of stock, so I can't print out the original draft which means I'm clicking between documents all the freaking time.  It's overwhelming and I kind of don't know where to start with the rewrite. 

I've decided to go back a little and work on the characters for a bit - how the end of the first novella changed them and all of that good stuff.  This is fun for me, I love my characters.  So, I've written at least 500 words a day but I still haven't really focused or knuckled down yet.  I keep coming up with scenes for the third book in the series which is incredibly distracting considering I'm still working on the second book.

The editing, on the other hand, is going well.  It's slow but fun.  I think I've gotten enough space from Verity to really see it clearly now - it may never work but at least I'm giving it a fair shot.  I nuked about eight exclamation points that somehow wormed their way into the first chapter so job well done.  ;) 

The replotting isn't going all that well, I think I need to put actual pen to paper and plan a section at a time rather than trying to rework the original outline.  I'm not all that fussed about sequence right now though.

Reading challenges are going well.  Haven't finished a book yet but I've enjoyed what I've read, for the most part.

To summarise: 

• Daily wordcounts have been met.  Weekly wordcount almost done.
• First chapter replotted.
• Two chapters & prologue fully edited (noted & corrected).

Check out everyone else's progress here.

Run For The Hills, Pick Up Your Feet, and Let's Go

I'm truly sad that Pete Postlethwaite died.  He's always been one of those actors that I feel safe with - I know I'm in good hands when I see him on screen.  He was absolutely fantastic in In the Name of the Father which is one of my favourite films. 

Anyway, I started my reading goals on the first.  Fifteen minutes a day - I managed more than that really.  I tried to go back to a DNF book that everyone loves and I feel like I'm missing out on something because I just can't get into it.  It's the perfect genre, I love the idea but bloody hell, I despise the MC and had to force myself to read every paragraph on each page.  I've pretty much given up, it's the third time I've tried to read it - it's been recommended to me lots of times, it has amazing reviews, it just isn't for me.

I began a new book.  Bad Claire.  It was okay at first, then it grew on me, so I'll definitely keep reading.  I went back to a book I had already started, loved it, only stopped reading because the baby woke up.  Reading goals, check.

ROW80 goals, check.  Technically. 

Oh, dear, I am lazy.  I've taken a break over Christmas and now I'm typing like a newbie hunt and pecker.  So sloooow.  I procrastinated for about ten hours before getting to work.  I didn't even write any of the actual draft, I merely plotted the first chapter of Taunt.  I typed 500 words which is my goal then I edited Verity and ended up typing roughly 500 new words.  It took me about three hours to edit a prologue and type in edits I'd already noted for two chapters.  That's painfully slow so I'm hoping by the end of round one, I'll be a little quicker.  I'm trying really hard not to run away from my work. 

I've been popping onto the blogs of the other participants - why the hell didn't I think of a reward?  I've subscribed and added to my blogroll wherever I can - wow, there's a lot of us for the first round, that's excellent.  If any of you are reading, don't forget to use the ROW80 hash tag on Twitter.  :)  I'll try to get around to following everyone on Twitter too.

It's a New Dawn, It's a New Day

1/1/11  :D

New day, new month, new year.  This past week has been one of the best of the year, I haven't stopped smiling.  2010 was great but I'm excited to see what happens this year.  Lots of things seem to be clicking into place all of a sudden, it's one of those times when everything is so perfect, you're almost waiting for that rain cloud to appear.  We'll deal with that when it happens and until then, enjoy the sun. 

A Round of Words in 80 Days begins on Monday and I am rearing to go, partly because I suddenly have a deadline.  I haven't stopped thinking about the story - I've been mentally working out scenes and ways to link various threads so at least I'll have a place to start on the first day.  I should organise my folders and get a new ink cartridge for my printer so I can print out all of my info sheets because I'll be working on a sequel and having printouts always makes it easier to check back on the details.  Getting  myself organised is one of those unspoken annual resolutions that never quite happen - I'm happiest when I'm surrounded by lots of messy crap.

My reading challenge starts today.  I am reading Have Gun, Will Play on my ereader, On Promised Land on Kindle for PC and Accidental Demon Slayer on my android.  Plenty of options depending on what mood I'm in and how I want to read.  I've always said I could never read a book on a phone but it's quite nice.  I'm a little fed up of reading on my laptop and my Sony needs to be charged every five minutes so I've been mostly using my android lately. 


Other things I need to do this year:

• Hang up a calender in the hopes I keep track of at least one appointment in 2011.
• Sort out my daughter's birth cert (long story).
• Get an eye exam - my eyesight generally gets weak when I have a baby then sorts itself out again but this time it doesn't seem to be improving so I think I might need glasses.  I hate even wearing sunglasses so that won't be fun.
• Sort out the house *sigh*  So much wrong with the place, it would be easier to move.
• Get fit.  I don't want to lose weight, I just need to not die whenever I walk up to the top floor of our house.  We've two flights of stairs, you would think I'd be used to it by now.
• Teach one of twins to wear his own clothes and not everyone else's, at least not all at the same time.
• Something secret.  :D  Can't tell or it wouldn't be a secret.  Good secret though.
• Stay out of the path of gobshites.

Lofty goals, as always.  Claire of the grand plans.  Have a good year, world.  Now I'm off to start on my reading challenge.  Fifteen minutes a day, here I come.  For I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep.